Mum, you have such a nice mozzarella bottom!

It’s Saturday evening, I’m in the kitchen with my girls (eight and ten years old), we’re baking pizza and talking about Mother’s Day. Like every year, they have been busy crafting, first at school and after-school care, then Corona-conditioned at home, and have a whole army of self-created Mother’s Day crafts hidden for me in their children’s rooms. I explain to them that gifts are not so important after all. Meaningful time spent together is important, a few kind words, a compliment once in a while, a little help around the house. “I just want loving children,” I hear myself say and roll my eyes inwardly because I have to think of one of those silly bingos I saw in a parenting magazine the other day. The first person to say three sentences in the category “I wish for nothing but loving children.” / “Mobile phone time is over!” / “All right, ten more minutes.” is the winner. Mother’s Day, shortly after getting up in the bathroom. “Mummy, your bottom is as nice and soft as a mozzarella!” says my youngest, looking at me lovingly. “Only with a lot more holes in it.”, adds my oldest, nodding. I look at them both questioningly. “Wasn’t that a good compliment, Mum?” the youngest asks me innocently. “Yes, yes…”, I murmur, “Thank you both.” Did I mention it’s Mother’s Day Sunday, just after getting up? At 06:15 mind you, early riser kids’ rise time. I’m still too tired to cry and disappear into the shower. In the shower I remember another Mother’s Day, the children were three and five years old. Back then in kindergarten, Mother’s Day was also such a huge topic, right after Easter we started preparing Mother’s Day presents. This year, the girls wanted to surprise me with a breakfast. As already mentioned, I have early riser children, that has always been the case and has not changed suddenly today. On the aforementioned Mother’s Day, I woke up at seven o’clock, looked at my mobile in horror, oh-dear-oh-dear-oh-dear, seven already, why are the children still sleeping… Are they sick? Both of them at the same time? From the kitchen came a delicious smell, of pancakes / crêpes , whatever you call them. In the kitchen the girls greeted me beaming with joy: “Happy Mother’s Day, Mum!”. They had hung the delicious smelling pancakes (the ones left over from the day before) over the two radiators. “I turned the heat up to five especially, Mum, so we could have a delicious, warm breakfast,” Child explained to me tall in a tender voice. Yes, that was a nice Mother’s Day too, when I was allowed to spend two hours cleaning radiators of crumbs and grease.

I’m generally not a big proponent of these “theme days”. Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day – sometimes it’s quite good to be reminded to look after your loved ones in a special way, but these set days aren’t really my thing. I once read that behind all these days is the Flower Shop Owners Association, but I guess that’s only partly true. Though, it sounds logical somehow. Or the handicraft industry. Or the pharmaceutical industry – because of the headaches you get from endearing compliments to children. Okay, let’s not go there. Out of the shower and into life. On the breakfast table, despite the affectionate mozzarella compliment, awaits the entire army of homemade gifts. Dear lord, who actually started the rumour that mothers are most happy about self-made things? My house is full of paper flowers, dream catchers, cardboard figurines and scissor cuts. Throwing them away is not an option. My children NEVER, NEVER forget even one gift they have made. Is there a way out of the crafting mess? Attention, dear mothers, here comes the sneaky part: make a wish. Stand in front of your family and make a specific wish. Make a wish for a time-out at a Familux Resort – you need it now more than ever. Add an ayurvedic facial, then your husband has a birthday present, the champagne should be given by the grandparents. I’ll be honest with you: our kids’ coaches also spend the whole day doing handicrafts with the kids. They get lots of fresh air, go on excursions and so on, but still: your suite will be decorated with Playmais artwork and salt dough biscuits within a few hours. However: after the associated time out alone or with your partner, in the SPA, in the swimming pool, in the mountains, at the alpine hut, at the bar or just in your room – you can enjoy crafts again and keep them as a memory of a wonderful holiday. I promise you! What was your best Mother’s Day gift? I wish you all the best for Mother’s Day. And above all, nerves of steel. Your Tina